Ahoy, magical land-lovers! Feel free to bow in reverence, for ye be addressed by the Pirate King himself, Davey “Lichbeard” Bones, Scourge of the Sea! For ye who count yourself amongst my competitors, yield now and surrender ye riches, and I shall be merciful!
However, for ye foolish or brave enough to pursue this futile conflict, hear me! This war be a chance for a man to gain the power of a wish! Such a price deserves nothing short of the full might of those who would seek such a renowned treasure! And yet, there be those who would chain us down to these horrific edicts! They call them “laws of war.” I spit on their laws, and in the face of those who would either enforce or uphold them!
Those among ye who wish to fight a proper war, who deem it necessary for the freedom of us all, join me in this war against those who would live in chains! Be as I, and be as free as the sea itself! Fight alongside me and others like us, and we shall know that the cowardly wretches of the Magus Organization will have no say in how we fight OUR WAR!
I will of course have to kill ye once all our enemies lay dead at our feet, but at the very least ye will die knowing that a free man won this war!
For ye who seek to either join or slay me, or merely surrender ye riches, ye may find me at the Docks of the Mastic Walk! Meet me there at the second day of the war! If ye have a hard time with directions, ye may also just follow the Siren Song of The Immortal Tyrant! She will not lead ye astray.
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Cooper, how do I turn this strange contraption off?! Do I flip the- End Of Message